"10,000 Difficulties do not make one doubt." -Blessed Cardinal John Henry Newman
Being Catholic is HARD I say that to those who I have taught wanting to come into the Church. But it's WORTH IT!
We may have a difficult time understanding all the whys and hows and the PEOPLE of the church (past and present) who make it difficult. I don't doubt that it's not true though. I've come to believe it's true through my own measly scrutiny and study. My free will led me here. My mind is not smart enough to grasp all we teach and it's prideful of me to think I can understand it all. Some things are left for mystery.
It's mind blowing to try to understand the Blessed Trinity or how Jesus comes to us is body and blood truly present in the Eucharist. Or how a Church can be full of so many conspiracies and bad people. But I don't doubt it's not true. I trust my pea brain is not capable of knowing everything.
St. Aquinas, one of the smartest Catholic theologians ever said "it's all straw". Meaning all this theology doesn't mean anything compared to the basic eternal truth that Jesus came to show us another way, died for our sins and we have souls that were made for heaven. Jesus gave us a Church to help guide us on a road map to heaven. Focus on that.
Can you let go of the need to know everything and just believe?
