The photo prompt for this week’s Friday Fictioneers left me so cold that whenever I tried to write something I completely froze. When Spring comes and the ice on that window melts perhaps there will be some movement. I talked to a good friend about the issue and what follows is a transcript of the discussion we had about a possible title, but it’s as far as I got this week. Maybe I just need some more fiber in my mental diet. Not sure why I made you all privy to this. In any event, here I sit, broken hearted…
The link to all the stories can be found here. If you’re still working on yours I hope it comes out all right. Aloha, D.
“I can’t believe you.”
“What?”
“It’s a ridiculous title.”
“It’s a grand title.”
“The photo’s of an ice coated window…”
“A Rorschach analog intended to reveal our personality characteristics and emotional functioning. I’m not biting.”
“But there’s no turd in the picture”
“What’s that gold apparition on the left?”
“A reflection of a light fixture!”
“How do you know? It could be anything. You’re being far too literal. If everyone thought like you, proctologists would be called astronauts and hemorrhoids would be called…”
“Asteroids?”
“Exactly!”
“It still stinks.”
“It’s a thing of beauty.”
“I think you should flush it.”
Thanks to Rochelle for her helpful and hilarious illustration. (I think:)
ironwoodwind 
Mom…. my asteroids hurt….. Doug you have spawned a hundred juvenile jokes in my head! Great post.
Dear Bill,
And here I thought my post would promote a reasoned and energetic discussion about the genesis of each author’s Friday Fictioneer offerings. Silly me.
Thanks for visiting and commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
Hard to know exactly what to say, but I started laughing as soon as I saw the title. Great picture, Rochelle. I think what Bill meant to say is your post will spawn potty humor. 🙂
Dear Janet,
I think I’ll be able to take all the comments this post will engender, go down to the local hock shop and try to pawn spotty humor.
Thanks for reading.
Aloha,
Doug
Dear Doug,
Juvenile…potty humor…aren’t they the same thing? You’ve written a real gem. Or maybe that should be a real nugget. I’m all flush-turd trying to collect my thoughts.
shalom,
Rochelle
Dear Rochelle,
I hesitate to say this, but you had a hand in it all.
Ewwww!
Aloha, (and tanks for the great fixture picture:)
Doug
Hi Doug,
This story loosened my sphincter. I feel much more regular now. Ron
ah ever lively and delightful – i LOVE the idea of a golden turd award 🙂
Wow, Doug – you were on a roll there… of Charmin. As my grandma used to say, you’re a little stnker.
Ewww. But amusing. Great artwork!
Love the sketch and “oh my” is all I can say about the um, asteroids!!
Doug – You and Rochelle should collaborate on a “potty humor” book…Text by Doug. Illustrations by Rochelle. After all, they now have a “Poop” book for kids and it’s a best seller. Good reason/excuse for Rochelle to take a holiday/trip to Hawaii (and find room for me in her duffle bag). Haha,,,snort…snort.
haha…I’ve also seen Barf books for kids but I think I’ll pass on both As for the holiday, Lora…let’s go!
This is just what I needed to brighten my day. I’m not sure what it says about me that golden turds and the discussion of asteroids brightens my day, but it can’t be bad. Can it?
Note to self: Do not drink coffee while reading Doug’s funny stories because of the spew factor.
Between you and VB, I’ll be chuckling to myself all morning. 😉
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/cold-reason/
Dear Doug,
You’ve real one-upped the Goose who laid the golden egg. Even Midas must be envious of this talent. Thanks for this extra-large nugget of wit and wisdom. I may have to change my diet . . . .
I have been rendered speechless by this story. See you soon.
Doug, Doug, Doug. It’s not nice to make me grin that hard. My cheeks will get sore. And that’s all I have to say.
Now that’s how to not write a story!
Ha, how about those asteroids around Uranus 🙂 lot of opportunities for puns under the belt.
Oh, no! Now we have to do illustrations, too? Hilarious. I admit to taking the Rorschach approach myself (on more than one prompt). I wonder if there’s some kind of metaphysical connection between your subject and mine. I’ve often thought modern politics is a load of, well, you know, however we try to goldplate it.
after all that has been said there’s nothing left! haha!
Now that’s a direction I hadn’t thought to go to. If your turds are golden I guess you have it made!
“If everyone thought like you, proctologists would be called astronauts and hemorrhoids would be called…”
“Asteroids?”
Gotta find out what you two were drinking/smoking/sniffing/chewing….
Kudos to you and Rochelle for a clever piece.
Late night in Hawaii + early morning in Missouri = Silliness
Hilarious! I can just imagine the silliness surrounding that conversation.
It’s late and I’m tired but I can’t stop chuckling. You would get along great with my kids. 😀
Doug,
How does a big bowl of Raisin Bran, a long hike on the island, followed by four hours at a dive bar sound? That’s what I’d do. And then rinse and repeat as necessary.
And what of asteroids and Uranus?
Crappy take on the prompt, if you don’t mind my saying. 😉 (Only joking – in case the smiley doesn’t work.)
Funniest thing I’ve seen you write yet, Doug. I laughed out loud! And Rochelle, I LOVE the caricature! What talent we have in our Fictioneer world!
You’re always so much fun! 🙂
Ha Ha. Rochelle can draw anything. But, I never would have thought this photo could have lead to this. Golden turd? It sounds like there is another part of the story somewhere in the flushing.
Doug, I missed South Park this week and your story made me feel like I’d missed nothing at all. Maybe some day soon we can share a Turd Sandwich? (Did Rochelle actually draw that? She is a genius!)
I cannot tell a lie, Perry. I drew the picture. Ah the joys of a scanner and the internet. 😉
This one went over my head. I just don’t know what to think. Maybe it’s too early in the morning.
Lol…Having just seen Wreck-It Ralph with my family, I’m tempted to use some of its potty humor in my comment . However, I do appreciate that you keyed in the the golden highlights of the photo! Thanks for the laughter. Becky
De
Dear Becky,
Thanks for reading and commenting. How did you find this polished post? (Just curious.) I hope I run into you again on these pages and thank you for clueing me in to Wreck-it Ralph’s comedic reservior.
Aloha,
Doug
LOL. Love the title,the silly dialogue and Rochelle’s drawing! Great job. I’m at http://banterwithbeth.blogspot.com