The usual intro:
This story is for Friday Fictioneers.
You get a picture, you write a piece of fiction that is 100 words long (or as close as you can get).
You add a link to your story and read the stories by the other Friday Fictioneers.
Below is this week’s picture and below that is my story.
The day was bright, the air fresh. The table was neatly laid. The food had been okay so far, but today, no one really wanted to eat. At least not the two girls. For them, everything looked darker, scarier.
The old lady looked downcast as she brought food. The men will hurt you, she had said. No one can hear you. No one visits.
The men had promised the girls’ parents a sign that they were serious. Last night they had come for it. The girls had screamed. The older girl had bled. Today, the men would send a finger.
This is seriously scary… really well done. A great contrast between what’s going on outside the building and within.
Thank you 🙂
Dear Abraham,
A dark and dreary future is forecast in your story. I hope the parents come through.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks for reading Doug
Thanks for reading, Doug!
Very dark, traumatic.
Changed my mood for a moment as I read it. Signs of a well written piece!
Thank you!
“No one can hear you…” Ominous, menacing and all too true for some.
Sadly so.
Thanks for reading!
Goodness, this is scary…i hope the parents can figure a way to rescue the girls…very well done.
Thank you, Boomie!
That gives me chills – really scary stuff – great story.
Thanks Trudy!
Hi Abraham,
Ouch, a cutting story with a sinister finish. And I liked the way you left us in the middle of the story with more to come. You pulled a dark story out of a bright photo. Good job! Ron
Thanks Ron.
Excellent job of contrast!! I hope the girls can be rescued. They must be terrified.
chilling, human evil is much more terrifying to me than the supernatural. Nicely done
Sadly that is true. Thanks
This sent chills through my body well done.. Especially the finger, scary stuff.
Wow! We went from bright and fresh to sending a finger. Scary and very effective!
Thanks!
Yikes, a scary, realistic story – and the peaceful picture makes for a good contrast. I like your style – crisp and emotive.
Thanks Brian! And thanks for reading.
Very dark. Got a real feeling the girls were trapped. It completely wipes the innocence away from that table
The middle finger? My god Abraham you hit the nail on the head with this one. nice job. Brutal and truthful…the dark side of men.
Tom
🙂 Actually I originally intended to end with “Today, the men would send a sign” then I thought that might lead to all sorts of misunderstanding, so I decided to just say it 🙂
Oh my. How evil. Great job.
Thanks!
Oh yes. I like the darkness of this.
YOU would, Sam 🙂 I am a frequent reader of your stories
I know, and you have NO idea how much that means to me.
OMG…how scary. Those poor, terrified girls. They are trapped unless they can run to the restroom and lock themselves in until the parent’s rescue them.
Damn!
here’s mine…http://tedstrutz.com/2012/10/25/displaced/
I that that as a compliment? 🙂 Thanks!
I liked yours too.
Thank you! And thanks for reading
Don’t know why this story reminds me of Tony Mochama’s book. And … I am secretly wondering if this is also 033 or 034? Your previous post was also 033 and up to now I’ve been thinking your labelling your posts by number. 🙂
:-O I am forgetting how to count?! You are right. I will re-number. (The numbering came about coz of a ‘commitment’ I made and I am/was failing at keeping. Will blog about that later. Or refer number 001 or 002 or something.
This is such a great take on the photo – very dark and powerful.
Thanks Sarah!
Well done Abraham, a bit grim but an engaging read.