I am trying to catch up on a lot of ground today due to my “busy-ness” of the last few weeks. I won’t rehash previous posts; you can understand if you read them why I have been too swamped to even tablescape. {Gasp! Horror! ME-not tablescape?}
**Warning: the following post is serious in nature, and if you only want lighthearted, skip it and go to the photos. I am neither angry nor depressed, just perplexed.**
My thoughts today revolve around personal connections. I have several people whom I call my “friends,” but are they really? I love them, and they love me [I think], but do we really talk in-depth about issues and share with each other? I don’t know things about their lives, and they don’t know about mine. That is good, I guess, if you’re worried about people being nosy, but not so good if you really and truly have a real, deep abiding friendship with people. Case in point: when my husband had back surgery several months ago, we heard from ONE of my so-called friends and NONE of the groups that I am involved in and ONE of the groups that he is involved in (which supposedly are made up of friends). So basically these people are really not my friends. They don’t know what is going on in my life, and I don’t know what is going on in theirs. We are acquaintances at best, and friendly strangers at worst.
So I have been conflicted about this issue for quite some time. I have backed off quite a bit from groups that I used to be totally immersed in because I can’t stomach the farce and the fakeness of it all. However, I also have to admit that some people don’t want others in their lives, and I am most likely the only person in my group of friendly acquaintances who feels this strongly about missing a personal connection with people.
Therefore, I have tried to be better about reaching out to people. I have realized that it is wrong of me to criticize others if I am not trying to do better about being there for people myself. Just this morning I mailed out several get well and sympathy cards to people, which I have done haphazardly at best in the past. I am making the resolution to be more intentional and more outgoing about demonstrating care and concern for others. That is what I will do for now, and I will step it up as time progresses and I see how my efforts are received.
One last thought: in defense of my “friends,” if I happen to not know something, I am told that it is because I am not on Facebook. So I am punished for not being on Facebook? How does that make you my friend? Obviously it doesn’t; I’m not your friend if you only tell your Facebook friends. I am not interested in Facebook and have no intention of joining it unless our business takes off into something more than I can foresee at this moment. Because I do know that the social media builds business, I will join all of them if I see that I need to from a business perspective. But I absolutely refuse to join Facebook if that is the only way that I can be your friend.
OK, I have stepped off the soapbox now and am ready to FINALLY post a tablescape and to even join in Marty’s cloche party. (By the way, I love Marty. I have emailed her for help several times and she has been very gracious. I call her a “friend.” Plus she is a great decorator!) Thanks for bearing with me!
You probably remember that I told you that I would tweak my fall tablescape and make it Halloween, so here it is. I used the same harvest runner from Dollar General (I guess you realize that I love that runner) and the same square plates from Wal-Mart.
I bought these Halloween placemats so many years ago that I do not remember how much they were, only that I got them on eBay. I also purchased black napkins at the same time to use with them, but that was before I discovered the napkin lady.
How cute are these napkins? I just love the acid green color and the little spiders. Hope you like the napkin rings also. I purchased these sometime around 1992 or 1993, I think. I got them from a flower and gift shop here in town that has long since been out of business. However, in the small world/trivia category, many of you admired my son’s rehearsal dinner. The woman who did the catering/decorating for that dinner used to run this shop. I purchased several things from her when her shop was open, and was so glad to be able to get her for the rehearsal dinner.
Another eBay purchase is the Halloween plates. Actually, these plates (Pfaltzgraff) and the napkins are the only new items on the table. Everything else is old and most of it very, very old.
Do you like the flatware? I purchased this online soon after I started tablescaping because I admired it on other tablescaping blogs and could foresee a lot of uses for it. It is called Hampton Forge San Remo, and I really like the black flatware for Halloween.
I’m sure you recognize the little pots as well from this tablescape. I did not want to cover up the picture on the plates, so I put them at the top of the place setting along with the San Remo soup spoon. Hey, I know that’s a little unorthodox, but that’s what tablescaping is all about!
I used the same wine charms from this tablescape. The glasses are from Dollar Tree, and I am so excited that we are getting one of these stores in my town finally.
The jack-o-lantern was a gift from a student years ago. Her mom was very thoughtful and always sent cute seasonal-themed teacher gifts. That sweet little eighth-grader is now an English teacher herself, and it has been so rewarding to see the young woman that she has become. I elevated it a little, which doesn’t make much difference in this picture, but it really helps it stand out when you look at the tablescape from a distance. (Tip: elevating elements of a tablescape helps it to stand out more.)
Finally, the “cloche.” Until I started tablescaping, I did not know what a cloche was, much less how to pronounce it. Since I don’t have one, I first placed another glass pillar candle holder like the one under the jack-o-lantern on the table. Then I added this tall, thin witch and turned my hurricane globe upside down on top of her. Deciding that she needed a little something else, I sprinkled candy pumpkins around her. They sort of help set off the pumpkin theme.
She is holding a pumpkin. I used the pumpkin salt & pepper shakers, the jack-o-lantern napkin rings, and the jack-o-lantern to continue the pumpkin theme. I was pleased with the final look and hope you like it, too! I hope that my “faux cloche” qualifies for Marty’s blog party. I will post my kitchen tablescape and tweaking of living room vignettes next week since this post is already a little lengthy.
Thanks for putting up with my “rant!” Happy Halloween!
Tablescapes by Bev 
Love love love the owl plate!!
Glad you like it! You can have it if you want. Just let me know.
Bev I get it about ‘friends’. I’ve got several who are REAL friends and I feel lucky to have them. Lots of casual ‘friends’ but they don’t really know my life. It’s become like that and it’s sad.
Love your tablescape.
hugs, LInda
You are so right. I think it is a sign of the times we live in!
Hi Bev,
This is my first visit. I agree with your “rant” that today people don’t understand the definition of a friend. I am on Facebook, but only to look over the shoulders of my grandchildren; I don’t accept friends!
Remember the cliche, “The best way to find a friend is to BE a friend.”
Thank you for sharing. I love all your fall decor.
You are so right, and I have realized that I need to step up to the plate and be a better friend. Thanks for your comments.
Your tablescape is fabulous. Love the tablecloth too, how fun is this. YOur “cloche” is perfect. I am thrilled you joined the party. Hugs, Marty
Thank you! It always means a lot to get a compliment from you.
enjoy your fall decoration special the witch in the cochei is it a candle i agree with you about facebook
The witch is not a candle, just a figurine. Thanks!
so with you on the friends issue. I think we are moving further and further away from “real” friends in society as it stands today. Love love love the table. Have the same plates and think they are sooo much fun! You set your table with so much flair!
Yes, I am hearing that more and more about this is a symptom of today’s society. Thanks for the compliment on the table!
I’m with you, too, on the “real” friends issue! I think it was good for you to rant about it. As for your table, I love it. The plates are so cute and I love that flatware. Have a happy evening!
Thanks! I am crazy about that flatware as well.
I would love some of those plates; they are so fun and festive. As for your rant, I reactivated my FB so that I could find out about the details of a nephews illness and subsequent passing away. In this instance, it was a great way for the grieving parents to pass on information. I do long for the days of fat letters in the mail arriving from friends, and for my parent’s friends and relatives who would stop by for long visits. I think that visiting someone in the hospital is such a blessing to the sick, but also to those visiting.
Yes, people just don’t do that anymore. Electronic communication is taking the place of real relationships.
What a fun table…the plates are fabulous!
Thanks! I love them.
Hi, I’m visiting from Cuisine Kathleen. I love your table. Those little ghosts popping up out of the pumpkin napkin rings are adorable. I really like your flatware…I have that on my “wish list” of things I would like to have. Gotta love the Dollar Tree stemware, too. I have been able to find it around here in blue, but I’m keeping my eyes out for the green. Thanks for sharing your cute Halloween table! Have a great weekend.
Thank you. I also found those blue Dollar Tree glasses in the champagne flute size. You’ll be seeing them soon!
I am definitely Facebook “challenged” and don’t really understand the ins and outs and don’t really care. I have several “friends” who only communicate with me by writing on my wall, and then I get a notification from Facebook to look at it. What? Really? They can’t even be bothered to send me a personal email? People who are on it all the time think that they have such a great life they want to show us all the details, when really they have no life at all, meaning no real friends. I guess you got me ranting too!
Tablescaping is much more fun anyway! My favorite part is the spider napkin, sooo cute!
You are so right! Someone was trying to tell me once that you put things in there about what you’re doing, and I kept saying, “Why?” Never got a good answer! Glad you like the napkins.
Visiting you from Cuisine Kathleens as well. I enjoyed your tablescape very much. Halloween is always a fun time to get creative isn’t it? In regards to your post I have to agree and disagree. I know quite contrary but here goes. I agree totally about friends not really keeping up with you as I have felt frustrated by that many times in my life. But the reality is that it really does take a lot of effort to keep up with others when your busy working and raising a family. I think the climate of our times is so much more fast paced then it ever has been in time. I joined FB to keep an eye on my kids online behavior but found it has evolved into a wonderful way to keep those connections going with friends I otherwise would not have made the effort to keep up with daily and most likely whom would not have made as much time for me either. Time goes by so fast. I wouldn’t give up on your personal groups so fast and I highly recommend giving your online FB connections a little more of chance. You might be pleasantly surprised. You have given me inspiration for a new post that I think has been sitting in my head for some time. Thanks and have a great day!
Thanks for your remarks. I haven’t really given up my personal groups, just backed way off. I know what you’re saying, and I have considered those facts. Just still pondering it all right now. Thanks for your compliments on my table!
I have been thinking about fb for a while and should I sign up (I thought I was the last one on earth). I have been told that once you sign up you cannot “quit it”; you can only disengage. There is something quiet wrong with this. Maybe they should not call it “friends”, but rather “associates”, or something more casual since we interact, but nothing personal. Friends should be saved for the real thing.
You are so right! I like the term “associates!”
Cute decor. You are my bloggy friend. If we lived close by we would be friends too. I am sorry your friends have disappointed you. Thank you for sharing at the Thursday Favorite Things hop xo P.S. did you enter my latest giveaway?
Thanks for the kind words! Yes, I entered.
Cute and creepy! Beautifully placed table!
Thanks for sharing.
Hope to see you on my blog:)
Thanks! Especially love that aqua pitcher you have.
Your Halloween plates are adorable! I enjoyed your post because it made me step back and exam my friendships and relationships. While Facebook does have some advantages, such as reconnecting with childhood friends or keeping up with distant relatives, it will never replace the relationship with a good friend. I believe a good friendship is much like a good marriage, it takes a lot of work from both side, but well worth it. We all treasure a true friend. You have inspired me to sit down a write some real letters to some people I love dearly!
Your insight is so very true. Thanks for your kind words!
This is my first visit and I feel moved to comment. I enjoyed your tablescape but I loved your your comments about friendship. I am experiencing some of the things you wrote about. I am a retired teacher also and worked at other things for the government and ended up teaching adults at the last of my career. I left work early to care for aging parents and eventually caring for my mom with Alzheimer’s until her passing last winter. I have always made friends easily but for the past few years I was so comsumed with care-giving I have not been out and about. After retiring I also moved away to a small town where I knew no one and that added to the isolation. I have tried to connect with neighbors but most of them are pre-occupied with their own lives and families, many of whom live near this retirement community. I did join facebook after many months of procrastinating and I do enjoy it to a degree. It is habbit-forming and I have reconnected with folks I had not connected with in ages. Those re-connect sfelt great and with some if was as if we had never been “disconnected.” I think maybe I am “rethinking” this friendship thing. I am now getting out and trying to join groups of like-minded folks and not looking to just neighbors for companionship. My husband and I have had separate and joint interests for the time we have been married (@15 years) and we are great friends to one another. I still need “girlfriend” time at the movies and out to lunch and maybe an occassional weekend at the beach. I do have dear friends–just a couple with whom I stay in contact but since moving away we are not as close as we used to be. Life moves on but I am holding on to those precious friends. I call them “heart friends.” and I can’t imagine not having them in my life. I am going to set about looking for folks near me in this new town to share my interests–as one of my childhood friends said recently after we re-connected, being a friend takes lots of time and work. I have decided to start the work of making new friendships but not letting go of the old ones. Lots of folks just aren’t comfortable with connecting on a heart level–in some ways as we age I can see why. Recently I have lost two close friends at the age of 50 and that is so difficult and also a neighbor who was in her early 60s and seen more friends and or spouces of friends afflicted with terminal illness. This is a scary time in life–fear of losing someone we care about is a real thing too. I have decided I am striking out and making a real effort at real communion–your post sounded like that is what you need to–Let’s both set about to find some real “heart-friends.” I bet there are more of us out there just waiting for real friends like us! Thanks for sharing your hear–I needed to read this–Blessings!
What a wonderful comment! Thanks so much for your thoughts, and you are so right about everything. Sometimes introspection is just what we need.
Amen to every word you said. I am like you, no way will I ever have Facebook. I am not interested in all that crazy stuff people do. I tend to my business and am a private person Enjoyed your blog very much..
Thanks so much! I am glad I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Great ideas!
Healthy Pink Snacks
Have an enjoyable Pink Saturday!
Thank you.
Your plates are wonderful for Halloween!!
Thank you. I have really enjoyed them.
Facebook or not, True friends are the ones you don’t leave behind and they don’t leave you behind. They are the ones you hold to for better or worse and the ones that you know you can always count on. Good luck weeding out the true friends and leaving the others behind.
Thanks..very wise comments!
You really do find out who are your true friends when it comes to times of needs. Lots of times people are not connected very well despite the ‘social media’ I try to spend more time with people when they’re there and the social media’s when I can. Prioritize. Love your tablescape and cloches! I do appreciate you sharing with Home and Garden Thursday,
Kathy
Thanks! I appreciate your remarks.
I don’t do FB either. I have an acct so I could see Pinterest, but I never go there.
Adorable plates and I love the pumpkin napkin ring!
Thanks for linking to Let’s Dish!
Glad I’m not the only one! Thanks for your compliment; I love the plates as well.