I’m lying in a hospital bed after having had knee surgery, writing this on my phone. That’s right: nothing stops me from doing Friday Fictioneers!
The Song of the Old Country
“At first it was a scuffle, and then a big kerfuffle. How we all did grieve when we had to leave.”
Grandpa’s songs always started like that. Then he would sing about the paradise of the old country before the war.
Grandpa’s light-hearted songs could not prepare me for the reality. Even as an adult and wearing a radiation suit, my eyes filled with tears as I looked out over the blighted wasteland.
I turned to go when a flash of green caught my eye. A clump of clover had burst from the poisonous ground. Grandpa’s old country was returning.
April 23rd, 2014 at 11:18 pm
Hope where there’s nothing. A good one!
April 23rd, 2014 at 11:30 pm
Hope you get out soon
April 24th, 2014 at 12:53 am
That’s dedication for you π Great post; get well soon!
April 24th, 2014 at 1:21 am
First – hope you have a speedy recovery from the surgery. Get well soon.
Second, your story. I love the opening line and then the rest of the story is just enough to take us all the way to this world and leave us with hope of a better future. Clever stuff.
April 24th, 2014 at 4:04 am
I really liked how I supposed at first the ‘old country’ was Ireland or England, and was then surprised that it was probably the whole planet! Good luck with mending swiftly.
April 24th, 2014 at 5:29 am
Hope! What a great way to end. May the old country return quickly – radiation be gone.
April 24th, 2014 at 9:00 am
Trust and hope that you’re recovering well π
Magic in that clump of clover —
April 24th, 2014 at 10:49 am
Nothing can keep you down from doing what you love to do. π I hope to be back to mine soon too after it is over. Get some rest.
April 24th, 2014 at 2:41 pm
hope for one – warning for all !
get well soon mate…
April 24th, 2014 at 4:55 pm
fabulous story David. Take care of your health!
April 24th, 2014 at 6:36 pm
Beautifully done and after coming out of surgery too. You just raised the bar for the rest of us.
April 24th, 2014 at 6:39 pm
Nice to see that no surgery will keep you from FF! Hope you bounce back soon! This was a lovely story, with a refreshing dose of hope!
April 24th, 2014 at 8:39 pm
I also want to wish you a speedy recovery. π It’s amazing you’re so dedicated you wrote that on your phone after surgery. Great story ending with hope. π
April 24th, 2014 at 9:56 pm
No rain or snow or surgery of the knee will stay David from his appointed Friday Fictioneers round! Bravo and prayers for a fast recovery. I’m at a hospital right now, too, waiting for Bill to have a procedure sometime today. Perfect time to read stories. Oh yes, stories. I like the light-hearted song against the grim reality and then, finally, the ray of hope.
janet
April 25th, 2014 at 1:43 am
I like the hopeful ending. Maybe it’s a reflection of your own positive outcome of the surgery? I hope so! I wish you a speedy recovery π
April 25th, 2014 at 5:22 am
Love to see a happy ending like that. It’s true, life always does find a way. It’s more resilient than we expect. It’s good to see Grandpa’s old country bouncing back before the character’s very eyes.
April 25th, 2014 at 2:14 pm
you’re unstoppable! wishing you a speedy recovery π
April 25th, 2014 at 6:32 pm
Dear David,
I admire a man with an obsession that so closely resembles my own. Remember that’s what put me in the position of facilitator in the first place. π Although, I’ve never tried writing a story on my phone. I’m sending prayers for a speedy recovery.
I can (sort of) feel your pain. I broke my big toe a couple of days ago.
Loved your first line and the fact that your story ended on a note of hope.
Shalom,
Rochelle
April 28th, 2014 at 3:09 pm
Rochelle,
sorry to hear about your toe. That sounds pretty painful. I’m resting up and am going home tomorrow.
If I do something, I like to do it right. If I miss a week of FF, I’m probably shipwrecked Robinson Crusoe-style or dead. π
April 28th, 2014 at 5:10 pm
David, we are kindred spirits in one regard. I was addicted from my first flash fiction and haven’t missed a week since 12 April 2012. I don’t say that to be boastful, just to say that I understand. If you miss a week I’ll send out a search party. π
As for the toe, it’s not all that painful oddly enough. The first day it was and after that it’s more of a mild discomfort and has earned me the right to wear a fashionable open toed Geta type shoe.
Blessings and Shalom,
Rochelle
April 25th, 2014 at 9:55 pm
Lovely and uplifting in the end. Really enjoyed this.
April 28th, 2014 at 1:20 pm
Glad you liked it. Thanks.
April 26th, 2014 at 7:15 am
Aaaahhhh what a beautiful miracle!
(Feel better soon)
April 28th, 2014 at 1:19 pm
Thank you, Dawn. π
April 27th, 2014 at 10:59 pm
Good that you are unstoppable.. love the positve endint on your dystopian story…
April 28th, 2014 at 1:19 pm
It betrays my basically optimistic nature, I think.
April 28th, 2014 at 1:33 am
Looks like both Grandpa and his land were optimists π Beautiful use of the prompt.
April 28th, 2014 at 1:18 pm
Thanks. There is hope, even in the worst situations, it’s true.
April 28th, 2014 at 3:06 am
Cool, Dave. And a good happy ending to boot. Nice work this week!
April 28th, 2014 at 1:16 pm
Thanks. π
April 28th, 2014 at 5:47 am
Dear Mr. Patella…I too want to wish you a speedy recovery…pained me to know you were in a hospital….this story was very timely. Just a little while ago I finished a book on Robert E. Lee that left me very solemn and humbled. It was pretty graphic about war, something I can’t even fathom. You write so well…vividly, colors spilling over the edge of each sentence. Hope you’re home by now and your wife is tenderly tending to you while your knees heal.
April 28th, 2014 at 11:36 am
Thank you kindly, Lady Bianchi. I’m actually still in the hospital but I’ll be going home tomorrow. I’ll be back to work and to my normal routine soon.
April 28th, 2014 at 10:20 am
Oh, good to hear that the country is returning. I like a bit of hope at the end there. I hope your knee is healing well, David! Great story.
April 28th, 2014 at 1:13 pm
I was debating leaving it bleak at the end, but decided I liked the hopeful ending better. The knee is coming along. I’ll be home tomorrow and teaching again on Wednesday.
April 28th, 2014 at 1:27 pm
Dear David, This is a wonderful story! The war zone must be everywhere, which is so depressing. But, out of the ashes, the Phoenix rises beginning with one green clover. How beautiful! Very well done. Sorry you had surgery – on your leg? I had my left knee replaced with Titanium my boys say I’m Bionic! Get well, and fabulous writing! Nan π
April 28th, 2014 at 3:09 pm
I envisioned it as either a whole continent wiped out by some sort of super weapon or even a whole planet, but I made it intentionally vague. But yes, even out of devastation, life can rise again. The knee is recovering pretty well, although it’ll be a while before it’s back to perfect. I didn’t have anything as cool as a titanium knee though. π
April 30th, 2014 at 6:03 am
Nature is a powerful force. I love the journey from the narrator listening to Grandpa’s predictable ‘old country’ songs to his own horror to the little bit of hope at the end.
Wishing you a speedy recovery from your knee surgery