Copyright-John Nixon
“Perfect Josh, hold it still.”
“Pete, you were right!” Sean screamed. “Two mirrored staffs in the mangrove; Jack Sparrow’s map was right; they point there on sea.”
“Sao Feng’s treasure” Josh could barely hold his excitement. “Dive Pete, find what’s below! We have beaten ‘Curse of Calypso’.”
“Yup! All alive and about to be rich”, Pete screamed and ran to take the dive.
After an agonizing wait – Pete came up, Sao Feng’s gold dagger in his fist.
“Sean, where’s Josh?”
“Dunno Pete, my eyes were fixed on the pointer. Josh was behind!” Sean’s voice trembled.
Calypso? Or 2 shares are better than…
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100 word Flash Fiction written for Friday Fictioneers challenge dated 28 March 2014. It’s a weekly challenge organized by Rochelle Wisoff.
You can see the other Fictioneer’s take from the froggy link below –
Abode of Horus 
The curse of greed, I suspect! But nice that you don’t specify.
Well told 🙂
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🙂 Thanks Siobhan
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I got a bit confused with the characters here, and wondering whether there was a significance in the change from past tense to present tense part-way through. Is it Sean’s voice that should be trembling at the end and not Josh’s? Or am I hopelessly not getting this? It has been known. 🙂
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Oooops! Thanks a tonne Sandra.. You saved the post ! 🙂
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I got the story line and the significance of the last line. But the tense change got me, too. In these spots: “Pete screams and runs to dive” (and what does “to dive” mean?) Maybe “Pete screamed, ran and dove?” Then again here: “Pete comes up” (“came up.”) Where you fooled me was that I thought this might turn out to be a video game. 🙂
janet
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Errr…. ummmmm… aha! 🙂
Got your point Janet – and thanks for being such a helpful critique – have tried to put in some improvement !
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Greed can ruin everything including a life-long friendship! Thanks for the great read! Nan 🙂
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Thanks for the appreciation Nan ! 🙂
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Omg loving the pirates of the Caribbean feel!!Great job
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🙂 thanks for liking !
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And one share is even better… never show you back in the face of gold.
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you got the drift Brudberg! 😀
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Nice bit of intrigue there. Well done!
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thanks for reading and liking Judah !
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Dear Indrajit,
Strange how the promise of wealth can divide and destroy, isn’t it? Nice illustration of that.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle for reading and the appreciative words.. thanks again for giving us the opportunity of indulgence named – writing 🙂
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great story Indrajit! loved it, i dont think it was calypso.
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Thanks for reading and liking it Sharmistha !
🙂
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i like that you let the readers decide the ending.. could be the curse… could be greed. i personally think it’s the latter 🙂
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You should always have a choice.. shouldn’t you? 🙂
Thanks for reading and appreciation KZ !
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Good story. Greed strikes again. Well done.
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Loved the nod to Pirates of the Caribbean and the search for treasure.
Well done
Dee
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Thanks for loving it Dee ! 🙂
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As Captain Jack Sparrow might say with a knowing nod–“Pirate.” Good one–I enjoyed reading it.
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Thanks for liking it Sorchia ! 😀
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Horus, This was a good read until you added that last line, IMO. Trust your readers, my friend. We had already gone there. 😉
I did, however, thoroughly enjoy this take on the prompt.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Point taken Marie !
Thanks for reading !! 🙂
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And thank you for being such a good sport! You are a fine writer.
Cheers!
MG
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The lure of treasure. Lots of bodies on most expeditions. Great little tale.
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thanks Patrick ! 🙂
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Yikes!Wonder where Josh disappeared-waiting to ambush the other two maybe? ;-)Great twist and loved this take Indrajit:-)
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🙂 Thanks Atreyi !
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🙂
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Were they playing an online game? This sounds like something my grandsons do.
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well that cud be another POV there ! 🙂
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