So I’m back to Friday Fictioneers with a story of 100 words exactly.
I’m in the US for a short trip, and will spend a fair amount of time on airplanes the coming days.
Friday Fictioneers is a wonderful group of bloggers who write a story of 100 words or so every week to the same Picture. All under the firm leadership of Rochelle Wissoff-Fields. Go there or on the little blue guy to read more entries.
Copyright – Roger Bultot
Steven was awakened by the booming crash and ran out on the street. Carrie’s brand new car was smashed to pieces by that falling oak. The car was a gift to bring them close together again, she had kissed him when he gave her the keys as she left for the evening job. He had gone to bed alone.
As he went closer he saw blood trickling from beneath the driver’s door, and he went closer. Looking in, he felt an icy hand gripping his heart.
Carrie was gone, and she took her lover with her – in flagrante delicto.
—
August 14, 2013
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Karma for Carrie, of the most final kind. I love that phrase ‘in flagrante delicto’ 🙂
Yikes! Killer last line,so to speak..!
Dear Bjorn,
Travel safe. Don’t park near any oaks. I enjoyed your story of discovery and death. Very nice.
Aloha,
Doug
Ouch! Well that was bad.
I gotta say I had to look up that phrase! And I must say it’s a phrase made especially for a 100-word limit story, isn’t it? Just loved this story Bjorn! ;D
I looked up the phrase too. I love learning new words.
what doesn’t bind separates??? The tree and car were in on it the whole time
well done Bjorn
love how you wrapped it up at the end.
as much as i’d like to feel sorry for carrie, i think i feel more sorry steven. poor guy.
great story 🙂
Not sure what he is going to regret more, having trusted her or having spent so much money on a now crushed car!
Great twist ending–or should I say “twisted” ending?
It’s hard to feel sorry for her; she’s both cruel and stupid (a bad combination).
A great descriptive flash, had me hooked.
Great idea – well done. After saying she was ‘gone’ I wondered whether it should be ‘took’ her lover with her rather than ‘brought’. I read somewhere that ‘bring’ implies action towards the writer and ‘take’ implies action away from the writer. Have a good trip, stay safe
Fully agree and I changed it… sounds much better.
Dear Björn,
Poor Steven. I’m sure he’s going to be dealing with a lot of conflicting emotions. Good story, sir.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Hi Bjorn,
A delectably wicked story. The range of emotion is wide and the reversal of situation is startling. Ron
I could feel his heartache at the end. Great story, so much said in such few words.
Ouch! you did a nice job of conveying the futility of trying to hold on to something you have already lost. Poor guy, twice the pain.
What a tramp. Good riddens to bad rubbish, but the car too? Nicely done. Didn’t see that twist.
So much lost in a compact story. I hope the guy had good insurance.
🙂
Nicely written, Bjorn. Evidently, her evening job had nothing to do with work.
Karma can be a real B****!
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/08/15/friday-fictioneers-ff-8162013-karma-pg13/
Yikes..Karma and all that! Great story, enjoy your visit to the U.S. just remember that Canada is just “over the border”
Wow–now there’s a lead line for your obituary….Well done, Bjorn.
In some ways a fitting end. 😉 Nicely told.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/socratic-method/
Loved the line ‘an icy hand gripping his heart’
Steve has a lot to come to terms with. Good job.
Enjoy your trip and take care
Dee
Awakened in more than one way. Good, tight story.
Good one Bjorn. Very, very good.
There’s that pesky karma again. Great story 🙂
Tragedy of the double-edged kind, but loss and deceit. How horrible. Very well done! I hope you enjoy your travels!
What a scene for Steven to wake to! Poor man.
I like that the icy hand, as well as a metaphor for shock, might also have been a final ghostly grasping for the life and love she’s just lost, by the not very delectible Carrie caught decidely in delicto. 🙂
Yikes, seems she didn’t deserve the car.