So, what sort of unadulterated douche does it take to not play Friday Fictioneers in “like, forever,” only to return, and then not plunk down the maximum 100 word allotment, but rather (2) 100 word installments instead?
We’ll just have to wait and see.
Here is this week’s 2-parter (if you’re really militant about the word count, just shut up and read the first part only, already!)
I hope you enjoy, I hope you play along, and I hope you get back to me with how you feel I can improve!
And to those of you who read along regularly, #1 – thanks!, and #2 – I apologize for having this week, two “dialogue-only” posts, back-to back!
Copyright -John Nixon
•
Now, where did I place it?
Sir, it’s…
Just a moment Geoffrey, I’m attempting to locate my rapt-scallion key!
“Rapt-scallion,” sir?
Oh my, Geoffrey, you’re so pedestrian, really. Dear boy, I couldn’t very well say God-damned-able, now could I? Certainly not in front of a mere child!
Sir, I’m not a chi…
Shush now lad, help me search!
But sir, it’s directly behind you.
Behind?
Yes sir, protruding from your back, actually.
By Jove! Right you are m’boy, right you ARE! Now, why do you suppose…
Sir. Please not again… We’re toys sir.
The devil you say!
The devil, I don’t.
••
We are toys. Just like we were yesterday sir.
My dear boy, I do believe your lid is positively flipped.
Sir, you have a KEY sticking OUT of your BACK!
Well… isn’t that just a very British thing to do?
No sir. It’s a very wind-up toy thing to do.
Rapt-scallion!
Sir…?
Oh, fine. GodDAMNed!
I’m terribly sorry sir.
No need m’boy, no need! So, I suppose I’ll wind down then?
Yes sir.
And I’ll have forgotten I was a toy next go-round as well?
I pray not, sir. This conversation IS becoming a tad bit monotonous.
•••
Bloggers note:
Today’s tune is more than just a musical accessory to a toy trapped within it’s own short-term memory. Today’s tune, TMI be damned, could have almost have been my theme song, at quite a number of points throughout my life. In short, today’s tune is important…
as long as i'm singing 
I too am a douche. I couldn’t confine it to 100 words. And I wasn’t even nice enough to break mine up into two parts!
Hahaha! Shoplifters Of The World (and over-100 word douches), unite!
I can’t wait to read yours and see how many you went over… =)
You write dialogue well; avoid apologizing for it and it will only get better. I really liked this piece. I might have to sneak a few moments away from everything else I am doing to participate this week!
Yes, mum. Thank you mum. =)
And heckie yes, you had better play along this week, dear! I simply adore (read: am envious of) your entries!
Requirements are keeping me chained for now. Soon I will be done with the chores and make time for playing along. You are officially the first person to ever call me “Mum” hmmmm… I’m not sure how I feel about that, but I suppose it is in my nature to mom people I like. I’ll just consider it a good thing and mosey on to bed because I am tired. Chores, gotta love em!
I enjoyed it. And I’m impressed you’re one of the few Fictioneers to manage to incorporate the key. (I failed myself, and I knew it was there!)
The British English is pretty good, a little old-fashioned upper-class stagey, but it suits the piece. One thing – in the last line ‘a tad’ is an Americanism, no?
Thank you, and good catch!
The “tad” (and the general smartassery) was included to (hopefully) seal the deal that Geoffrey (not intentionally named after the Toy R Us mascot, come to think of it) was of a U.S. manufacture, in lieu of British.
And I apologize for not mentioning this earlier here, but thanks also, for a most delightful prompt pic!
Loved it!
I’m glad!
=)
Ha! That one (two!) was fun!
Thanks Eric! I love the ones that just sort of lead me in their own direction =)
Wonderful dialogue !!! I could have never guessed all the linguistic details you used in this fine piece… :)
Well done!
Thank you dear Ela! Was the British British enough?
M’dear, I think it was more than enough but you know, when I will know half the English you know I will be able to answer better this question. Till then I will translate everything in my Romanian-Pigeon-English. =)
I had no idea you spoke Pigeon as well!
Cooooooo… :)
=) ;)
as far as i can tell the only punishment for exceeding said limit is the shame of each author himself or herself. If it is good enough no one cares.
So should I be filled with shame, Joe, or am I in the clear this once?
I think you should be proud of your effort Troy!
=) Thank you Joe (=
I thoroughly enjoyed this one… made me smile.
As always Nelle, a smile from you is a victory for me =) Thanks!
Oh man, I didn’t even count how many words I wrote! A clockwork toy in the body of a man, oh – er, a man in the body of a clockwork toy in the body of a piano????! Hee hee. Enjoyed your piece of Flash!
Much thanks!
I really did try for 100, but by the 125-30 mark, decided to just do (2) back to back =) Hope Rochelle doesn’t spank me for the transgression…
I’m not a stickler for the rules – anything that encourages creativity is fine by me! Love the photo prompts – great idea! I like your two-episode flashes too! :)
Thanks again, but next time I will try much harder to stick to the limit – readers time is precious, you know, and there are so many Fictioneers as it is =)
Ahh – so true – it does make short and sweet reading. It’s been fun discovering such a big bunch of fictioneers! Nice meeting you – and thanks for the conversation! :)
My, my. Even toys get absent-minded nowadays? What a complicated world we all live in. Heh-heh.
Enjoyable read.
Hehehe – I’m glad you enjoyed it!
I quite enjoyed it. Your mastery of the dialogue was wonderful, I wouldn’t have thought it went over if you hadn’t told me!
Well, I do like to be honest =)
So glad you enjoyed this one – thank you!
Troy, very inventive. I loved the “Rapt-scallion!” It just sounded so musical.
Sad to say, that part is real in that I’m quite often using phrases just like that =) For the rest though, thank you!
So good my dear brother. Wish my dialogue was half as good. xoxoxoxox
Sis, shut UP! Your dialogue is wonderful! Besides, I just write down the conversation as I hear it =)
Yeah, I do too. Don’t you tell me to shut up. I might have to tattle on you for being mean to me. Giggle.
ha, I totally loved this one! it gave me a Pratchett moment with the whole rapt-scallion hullaballoo (much like my favorite Discworld-ism where Fred Colon tells a co-worker that they are currently at an imp-arse ;) I heard the whole thing, too, like you were talking to me instead of me reading it and that is a fantastic compliment for dialogue. In case you were wondering.
I’m getting pretty danged tired of your comments, you!
=)
And did you just drop a Pratchett on me? I am really, seriously, and no-lies honored. No lies, thank you, 35!
I’m hoping that first question of yours is rhetorical! :-) I like rapt-scallion. I like mine wrapped in prosciutto (or almost anything wrapped in prosciutto), but I digress. I did listen to the song, too. Do I get extra credit?
janet
The song is the extra credit, m’dear! I mean, assuming it got your tail feathers moving =)
Mmmmm, prosciutto…
I like them both. I gave the wind up toy the voice of the second Doctor Who in my head for what ever reason. Great job.
Haha – nice! I had more of a Terry Thomas thing going on in my head, but me and my three children being staunch Whovians, I’m totally down with your call as well!
Geoffrey is too precocious. He should have said “a very windy uppy thing to do”. Otherwise right on target. Douche meter at maximum.
Thanks for the idea, and I’m glad that Geoffrey hit the mark for you =)
This was different and really nicely done. Cheers:)
I’m really glad you liked it =)
Great dialogue & character!
I enjoyed writing it, and I’m thrilled that you enjoyed reading it!
i don’t care if you exceeded the word limit, i enjoyed the dialogue that much ^^ the characters you created are awesome
Thank you so much kz =) That really means a lot! A bunch, even!
Very funny old fashioned upper class English dialogue! One thing, as a Brit, the phrase ‘Oh my Geoffrey’ isn’t quite right, ‘my dear Geoffrey’ sounds better to my ears. But I love the short term memory idea, it’s really clever, because what does happen to a toy when the key winds down? Your idea makes perfect sense. Loved it:-)
On reflection, and after a nice walk with the dog, I think it just needs a comma, as in ‘Oh my, Geoffrey’. That sounds ok to my English ears!! :-)
Can you believe that I originally had that comma in place, then removed it? It’s back in now, thanks for the edit dear!
Frightfully good of you to say so, old chap!
Bully!
Thoroughly enjoyed this. Toys, eh! Shouldn’t be left lying around like that. A d the foul language. Not in the nursery, pulleeeeze. I wrestled with the key shadow for a while but, unlike you, was left with no creative thought. Great read and who’s really counting.
Thank you much Patrick, and I’m glad you liked where the key took my mind!
“Not in the nursery, pulleeeeeze” indeed!
Quirky and fun – I like how you worked in the wind up key. Nicely done.
Thanks bunches – I’m glad you enjoyed it !
Rapskallion key — very cool indeed! We are all toys, aren’t we, when you get down to it…
Feeling wound down, are we Perry?
=)
Very inventive. Nicely done.
Much thanks Tony!
Love it!
Love you loving it!
:)
Makes Toy Story down-right pedestrian! And… I have that album! Finally! Between you and Lance, I was feeling very inferior music-wise.
Never should you feel that way Tara! I could show you some discs that would embarrass even me to say I own!
Glad you liked the tale, too =)
Great choice of words and I love how you used dialogue. Glad you went rebel with the word count.
sorry I’m behind on commenting
No need to apologizer Lance – I’m behind on EVERYTHING.
Yeah, I went rebel (rebel), and I didn’t event ear my dress =)
This week I have managed to keep my entry to 100 words but this is the first time!
Nice and funny!
Thanks Hannah, and congrats on meeting the 100 lockdown!
What a nice Troy Story. I’m glad you used the key and I’ve loved the dialogue. Great job!
If you didn’t mean that on purpose, ima gonna use it from now on anyway – “Troy Story…” Kinda like the sound of that =)
So glad you enjoyed this one Russell!
Dear Troy,
I suppose I can let the word count violation slide this time. Next time I’ll have to give you a ticket. In any case, the second part enhanced the first. Sort of Toy Story meets 50 First Dates. I like it…and the song as well.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Oooooh – I simply ADORE tickets!
Thank you Rochelle =)
Yeah toys allive usually aren’t known for being brainy… a great take
Thanks much Björn! And I don’t know, I’ve met some pretty knowledgeable toys in m time =)
Inspired :D
I do so love it when inadimate objects take on a life of their own. Toys, well anything really. Way back when (many moons ago) did had items in a house come to life to trip up a nasty Uncle. Way before computers….so while I know I have it somewhere…maybe if I just listen long and hard enough the pages will call longingly to me…
Thanks for your visit.