This is an entry for the Friday Fictioneer‘s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Open to all , ready to rack the right side of the brains!.
The objective is to write a 100 (word limit is not rigid) word story based on a photo prompt.
My story follows the photo prompt below
Copyright – Sarah Ann Hall
Fence
Their family migrated during the war-torn, drought times. They stood side by side, picked up plows and tilled the land hoping against hope. The winds changed, war got over, the barren land turned green and filled greed in their hearts. The brothers now stood against each other, picked up arms and erected fences to demarcate boundaries.
Seasons flew by, they prayed for rains only on their side of the fence. Their hearts filled with envy to see the lush green on the other side of the fence. Winter fetched them away. They now lay together, side by side, beneath the earth.
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As I wrote this, I remembered Rabindranath Tagore’s poem which I am sharing below
Where the mind is without fear and the head held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by Thee into ever-widening thought and action;
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.
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Wonderful story! How sad that the brothers were not reconciled before death.
thanks for stopping by Lyn.. yeah i wished people got along more often
A lovely story, well done.
thanks Sandra ! hope ur enjoying ur time in France 🙂
It’s raining… for the second consecutive day. Still, once you’re wet you can’t get wetter.
How fitting that they should come back together in death. A wonderful interpretation of the photo, and a lovely extra gift of the Tagore poem.
Glad u enjoyed it 🙂
It’s always sad when family member turns against family member. I like the way you brought them full circle from togetherness, to separateness, then finally, back together.
Do you mind me mentioning a few small things? “War-torn” is one, hyphenated word and I think you want “hoping against hope.” And I believe you would need “sides” right here–“only on their side of the fence”, since there are two of them and that means two sides. 🙂
janet
Janet you are always welcome to point out the errors ! 🙂 honestly war torn i thought was one.. but was in doubt and googled and saw an sentence without the hyphen same with hoping against hope.. against my better judgement i relied on the web ! can i blame this one on google ? 😉 thanks for confirming.. i will change..
side- sides my mistake. i thought since each was praying for their own side .. it wud be side.. !
Well written story with a warning
too many strive for the lush treasures of life not the treasures in relationships
thanks ! yeah i agree..
And, unfortunately, that’s how it often goes.
Scott
Mine:
This is just great. I really loved it, and I see some similarities to a poem I wrote a while ago… if you are interested here it is… I loved your story.
http://brudberg.wordpress.com/2013/05/05/my-neighbours-fence/
a great poem urs.. enjoyed it 🙂
Dear Shreyank,
Beautifully illustration of how greed and envy can tear even brothers apart. One suggestion,..”war got over” seems a bit clumsy…what about “war ended”?
shalom,
Rochelle
yup Rochelle war ended sounds better 🙂
A poignant tale Shreyank. Sadly true to many families.
I somehow established a link with the 1947 partition. And that is a beautiful poem by Ravindranath Tagore. I just love it, maybe we live to see that day. 🙂
Wow never thought about 1947 when I wrote this. But i can see the resemblance with the war, brothers standing together and then turning against each other ! your comment motivates me to expand this story which might stand as a metaphor representing partition. Thanks for the idea ! 🙂
and yes I too wish to see these words of Tagore come alive in the real world sooner rather than later..
Glad to have sparked the thought! 🙂
That’s a sweeping story, all in a few words. A lot of toil and tragedy here.
Haunting tale, very well done. Thanks!
Thanks Perry 🙂
Though a sad story, one that was wonderfully written. Let’s hope they were able to reconcile on “the other side.”
Thanks ! 🙂
Brilliant. Your best yet in my opinion. I loved the praying for rain on their side of the fence only. Great stuff 🙂
So glad to read that you liked it 🙂 Thanks !
That’s wonderful, really enjoyed this read! And love your twenty thirteen theme!
Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Praying for rain on their side of the fence. You’ve summed up the futility of hate really well.
that’s what I was aiming at.. glad you felt the same way 🙂
Very good idea Shreyank. Epic in a small space. And mostly well executed. I don’t think I want to add anything to what other commentators have already pointed out about the language.
Like Parul I saw a reference to Partition, but it could of course – sadly – be a story from many another conflict.
The Tagore poem was an extra bonus.
glad you liked it John
So sad they spent their time fighting this personal war that neither could ever win in the end. Also I love the poem by Tagore. You reminded me i have to read more of his poetry.
Very sad.