Genre: Bizarre (or you can say Fantasy with a bit of Metaphysical thrown in)
On Earth:
Her head was abuzz with hopeless romance again – scared to see her immediate becoming an eternity, she soared high on her thoughts, past the world she lived in, the worlds she had seen. She couldn’t be locked in the paradigms of society!
In Heaven:
Two old men stared at the tree.
“Not as gnarled as yesterday” one observed.
“Yes, I see a new leaf has turned” added the other.
“What do you think?”
“Depends on how far her actions follow her thoughts”
“So young, yet so old and gnarled. It’s a pity”
They moved to the next tree.
…………………..
100 words for Friday Fictioneers this week.
I am worried my story this week is bordering on bizarre and I am going to cheat a little by explaining what I have attempted. (Roll your eyes, but pray read on… :)). The idea is that every life on earth has a corresponding tree in heaven. The health, look and feel of the tree in heaven depends upon the person’s temperament and life on Earth. So if someone is a happy-go-lucky kind of a person then his/her tree would also be bouncing and healthy, if someone is wise and graceful, so would be the tree and so on. The MC of my story is a conflicted person, young of age but aged of experiences, held back while surging ahead – and so is her tree.
There I said it – took only 92 words to explain my 100 word story. (Rolling your eyes again? Actually that’s a very good exercise; you don’t have to thank me, seriously! ). Btw, what should be the genre of this? Mythical? Or is Bizarre apt? 🙂
For the uninitiated, in case you are wondering what is going on here, read on. Friday Fictioneers is an excellent forum for people looking to have fun as they learn the nuances of writing. Every Friday a bunch of us write 100 words (no hard rules there) for prompts posted by Rochelle who runs the show.
This week’s prompt comes from Scott Vanatter with permission-Copyright- Indira:
A quicker way to reach the other stories:
Austere Alacrity 
A good attempt but I didn’t get the heaven and earth connection. But the conversation is good. 🙂
I don’t blame you for not getting it. It is different kinds 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and commenting despite! 🙂
Bizarre? Yes. Not so. after reading your explanation. Thanks for sharing. Nice work.
Thanks Lora. I knew the explanation was needed this week.
Good for you! I did get that from your story, which I really enjoyed but I really enjoyed you writing the thought process behind what you wrote and why. Your genre would probably be fantasy with a bit of metaphysical thrown in for good measure! Loved it!
Wow! You got it without the explanation!! You rock! 🙂
Thanks for stopping by… I agree, that’s a more respectable genre for this than bizarre. Changing it
🙂
I think it’s a great idea. And I’m not sure whether you could convey this with clarity in just 100 words. But the idea is so good I think you should persevere with the concept and make it into a longer story. Well done.
Thanks Sandra, you got me thinking
I agree with Sandra. Although I more or less got the idea, it wasn’t that clear. With more words, you could do a much better job of conveying your unusual idea.
janet
I agree with both Sandra and Janet. I didn’t get it until I read your explanation, but the idea is a good one – worth expanding I think
Dee
I going to reply to the replies and do a ditto on the dittos. A nice trick is explaining first, then afterwards people will say “Yeah I would have got that”. I love the concept behind this and your imagination shines through. I think this deserves more words because I didn’t get it without the explanation but still an excellent idea! Pursue this…It would be a lovely short story and who better than you to write it!
Much Praise,
Tom
Thank god for your explanation :P.
😛
I saw it as angels watching over someone with that someone’s energies in Heaven being the tree. I suppose it depends in where your mind is when reading this.
I loved it.
got your story without the explanation ! I am from India we have a lot of the metaphysical stuff in this country 🙂 You took this story is a entirely different direction .. loved that 🙂
Thought the story was self-explanatory.
And very good!
i liked the story even without the explanation! ^^ understood and interpreted it in my own way. but still, i’m glad for the explanation which i found quite fascinating
I too liked your story even without the explanation. The concept is not bizarre at all. Why wouldn’t each soul have its own tree? I can’t think of anything more beautiful. I’d like this story to continue. Nice!
I like the idea, but it was a little hard to follow. But really very well written – 🙂
I think I get it. Very well done
I liked it. The hard part about 100 words is there is so much you don’t read. So it takes the reader to fill in the blanks. I would have gotten it without your explanation but sometimes the explanation does help
I liked the story – but I needed that explanation to get it! It’s tough with only 100 words and I think this idea was too big for the wordcount.
I loved the first paragraph, with her soaring up to heaven.
A bit bizarre, of course, but in this group, I think it’s fine. 🙂 I like the metaphor of the trees as reflections of the soul, even as far as turning over a new leaf.
I reckon that this is the right place to find an audience that will get this kind of story. I think the genre should be FF! I love the idea behind it too. Good story Parul. 🙂
Good concept and great title–I got the tree-human connection, just didn’t realize it was in heaven. I agree with others, the story is worth further development.
Dear Parul,
No eye-rolling here. I did kind of understand the intent of the story but I also appreciated the explanation. Nice one.
shalom,
Rochelle
Sci-fi, perhaps even fantasy… I like it. Sort of like a guardian angle but with a twist.
Hopefully the folks in the high nether regions don’t have to depend on the fruit of such trees, at least from earth…as I fear most our trees would be similarly assembled.
Thank you for your visit….I never know where the prompts will take me 🙂
An interesting turn to the story of the tree, as representative of life – and having it be so gnarled and twisted – yet, turning a new leaf. That was a nice touch.
I like this – and think I got it before your explanation. Reminds me a little of the movie about the tree that dropped a leaf with every word the protaganist said; when the last one dropped he would die.
I love the bordering on bizarre!
I like the symbolism and romance of the idea.
The story and your explanation makes sense to my way of thinking.
I would call it esoteric not bizarre. 🙂
It needed your explanation, but not your apology! I think you are taking exactly the right path by exploring this arena and similar, as you do often. Too many stories are wound around a conversation in a kitchen with the high point being the opening of a fridge. PS, am putting together an anthology of short stories, but need to email about this of course.
I am all ears (or eyes in case you email) 🙂