So, um… yeah. I had absolutely no clever title ideas for this story. Oddly enough, “Nothing to Say,” probably works as well as anything I might have chosen after hours of deliberation. So here we go.
To catch you up, Dan and Sara are home from the hospital, home from prison, home from wherever else they may have been hanging out. As you can imagine, those of you familiar with this young couple, no amount of eloquent words can repair all that’s gone wrong.
Photo by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Nothing to Say
Sara stared as the flame raged within the lamp’s shade, pressing against the glass confining its heat. A fire rose within her chest, suffocating her so that her breaths became rapid, ineffective. Suddenly she rose, wrapped her hands around the orb, and dashed it to the floor.
Dan turned, hands dripping with dishwater, and saw Sara, tears pouring down her cheeks, her silent agony unveiled. Head bowed, he lifted the shade from the second lamp, held it out to Sara, and released it.
Shards cut into his bare feet as he crossed the kitchen to take her in his arms.
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Sounds like a release of frustration. Nicely done.
Thanks!
Oh darn… that’s sad. I love the language in this.
Thank you!
I like the way you had the two fires: one in the lamp and one inside Sara. This couple definitely has some issues, to say nothing of his feet! I don’t know if you had this in mind, but the shards could definitely represent the shards of their relationship, of the cuts and bleeding (metaphorically) that they’ve done and probably will continue to do.
janet
I was thinking more positively. The glass shades might represent something that keeps them isolated from one another – all the things they have no way to say or something… And that in breaking the glass, they break some invisible barrier between them.
Or, another interpretation – The glass represents Sara and Dan themselves, and they are showing one another how broken they are.
As for Dan walking across the shards, I love your metaphorical mind, but I can’t claim any genius. That was just to show that Dan loves Sara enough to, well… walk across broken glass. 🙂
I have every intention of giving these two a happily ever after, with a little help from Angelique. 😉
That works, too. 🙂
I am glad to read your comment about Dan walking across the glass, because that is just what I got from the story. 🙂
This is very good writing!
A touching show of emotion…and support.
Good to see a man doing the dishes 😉 I felt the sadness in your words- thank you.
He kind of owes her… 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Now that is a truly eloquent gesture! It speaks volumes. I’m on a read-a-thon here and hadn’t noticed whose piece I was reading. So, impressed, I went back to have a look. And I wasn’t at all surprised. Very well done.
Dear Lisa,
Nothing to say…the perfect title. Without words from either of them their actions convey and a conversation. Actions do speak louder than words. Dan definitely has gone the extra mile to show his love. Nice job.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Love is painful as evidenced here
you convey the anguish well
That’s intense!
Every sentence a beauty.
I loved this line : “Sara stared as the flame raged within the lamp’s shade, pressing against the glass confining its heat.”
Very passionate and heartfelt. Great work.. I can’t say enough abt how much I loved it!
Oh I love the passion and symbolism here!
I love the unspoken trials and sacrifice in this. I assumed that he smashed the second one in order to walk over it barefoot to her, to show his devotion for her, right?
Certainly a lot is going on between the lines in this story… lots of release on Sara’s part, and Dan’s move to support her.
I loved that metaphor Lisa – that he will literally walk across broken glass for her. Really lovely writing. And good luck with the #pitmad request!
Claire
Don’t know the young couple, but excellent piece of writing.
I was really drawn in by those first two sentences. I enjoyed the comparison between the trapped flame and Sara’s feelings. Also the domesticity of Dan’s hands dripping – so much imagery. Very well told.
I like the analogy of the fire inside Sara and the one in the lamp. Feels like they are both going to work hard to mend things between them.
I’m glad I came here and read this 🙂 Apt title!