After missing last week due to moving, I return to Friday Fictioneers! Every Friday, writers from all around the world write 100 word (or thereabouts) flash fiction based on a photo posted that Wednesday on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.
Here’s my story this week. I welcome constructive criticism; without it I cannot grow as a writer.
New Directions
The professor lifted the tarp in the back and did a double take.
“Is that what I think it is?”
“Yeah. Jet engine.”
“You built a jet-powered car?”
“Yep. I like going fast.”
“Why are you selling it?”
The young man shrugged. “Need the money, you know?”
“Well, this wasn’t really what I had in mind for my daughter’s first car, but here…” The professor handed him a business card. MIT ADMISSIONS, it read, and gave a phone number.
“Give us a call when you get a chance. And don’t concern yourself about the money.”
glossarch 
I had to look up MIT, not being American or a scientist, but I still got the gist of your story, and really liked it – great idea from the picture. My only other comment would be when the professor trails off with ‘but nonetheless…’ this suggests to me that he is going to buy the car, or at least there is going to be another comment about it, so it felt like a bit of a jump to what happened next.
Claire
Thanks for the comment! I’ll think about “nevertheless…”. I struggled over what to put there.
I liked the punchy dialogue – a fun read.
I think the professor will buy the car but not for his daughter. I like the three dots at the end. It suggests infinity, in this case. That’s lots of space. You might consider putting a hypen between ‘jet’ and ‘powered’.
Naughty professor..! (Makes me wonder if this really happens..?)
Well done. Enjoyable read.. 😉
I like what you did with this and the story flows really smoothly. Yup, “jet-powered” needs a hyphen and you win an extra word for free! Maybe instead of “but nonetheless…” you could end the sentence “my daughter’s first car. But here…” Just a thought.
janet
Thanks for the advice! I did change it to “jet-powered” but I think it’s cheating to call that one word :-).
I’m still under the limit.
It’s not cheating, Danny. Word counts hyphenated words as one. Trust me. I do it all the time. 😉
This is a well thought out story. Good job.
Love the twist at the end of the story. Sounds like your MC will get more than a small profit from the sale of his jet-powered jalopy. Nice one.
shalom,
Rochelle
The idea of giving your daughter a jet-powered car as her first car is awesome. He should let her take it for a spin, at least.
wasn’t what he had in mind for his daughter’s first car–love this and the MIT invitation. great little story.
Opportunity designed with inspiration… nicely done!
So what I am getting is that this professor came to look at this car for his daughter. Upon seeing it he recognized a very talented individual was in his midst and together they were going to market some part of this concept car and become rich. Am I close?
Hey, if that interpretation makes sense! My idea was that the professor was so impressed by the car that he was going to offer the young man a scholarship to MIT. In reality, a jet powered car would be a bit of a liability on the road (tailgating would be nonexistent though!).
I liked your story.
Nice twist.
Good story.. A little bit “Good Will Hinting” ?
there’s a happy coincidence for ya. well done.
I liked this, I thought the Professor wasn’t going to buy the car, and the money referred to the cost of going to MIT, but perhaps I’ve misread?
Nice take on the photo.
Nope, that’s what I had in mind! Thanks for reading.
Love this! What a way to get a scholarship!