Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff -Fields at Addicted to Purple for hosting another week of the Addicting Friday Fictioneer. It is a where a bunch of us ink junkies use our talents to create a 100 word story using a photo prompt. Below is the photo and my story this week. Come try it out.
This week’s prompt comes from Beth Carter who took a first prize with it at the Ozarks Writers League photo contest in February. Congratulations, Beth!
I had lots of fun with this photo. As always I kept my G rated story at exactly 100 words. Critiques are always welcomed.
The Jojo Mobile
Jojo started tinkering in the garage, building his Jojo Mobile, when gas prices were rising. He hardly ate or showered for weeks. Ronnie, Ray and Steve found parts at the junkyard. ย ย He was so proud I had to hold back laughing. It reminded me of those elaborate go cars they use to race down the hill off Clarke Street back in the day.
He had everything in that car, but something was missing. As he started down the hill, in his new car he remembered what he forgot. Too Late.
The Eighteen Wheeler rolled over Jojo like a speed bump.
Remembering the awesome FFs ๐
I remember your blog very differently,… Thanks for the support on VeryLoudYouth ๐
I write poetry mostly and a few short stories and personal experiences every now and than. Nice to see you back.
Ouch! I was thinking it was missing an engine but I was wrong. Fun story and thank you for the morning laugh (at poor Jo Jo’s expense)!
I’m glad you enjoyed it. I think Jojo’s in writer’s heaven laughing with you. ๐
Reminds you not to focus too hard on getting the darn thing started – what if you can’t stop it?
This is true and certainly a sad goof on Jojo’s part. Thanks for reading.
I can think of at least three things he could have forgotten. I’m going to guess brakes and then a horn as a close second. Either way it was a great story with a lot of feeling going into Jojo making this car. What a sad and graphic ending.
He definitely forgot the brakes and perhaps he forgot the horn too. Thanks for reading.
Loved the twist. After all that love and effort how could Jojo forget the brakes?
Thanks for reading Sarah. Yes how could he forget. ๐
I like the twist, but I think it would work better if the last sentence were more outrageous. “Ran over like a speed bump” to me sounds tragic and works against the light-hearted tone of the piece. That said, I don’t have a substitute for you. Just a thought …
Thanks Perry ran over would make a bit more dramatic.
Hi Kim,
Poor Jojo. Fun story and an interesting response to the prompt. ron
Hi Ron,
Thanks. I liked this prompt.
Poor Jojo – a sticky end there, and after all that work too.
Yea he should of remembered the brakes.
that was excellent!
Thank you.
oh ouch! all that work just for it to be under 18 wheels. ๐
I know the poor guy. Thanks for reading.
Poor Jojo. Let’s hope he remembers the brakes in the next life
๐ We can only hope.
“elaborate go cars they use to race down the hill off Clarke Street” — the kind of information that ads depth to a piece of writing.
Thank you kindly. ๐
I like your final line.
Thanks I’m so glad. ๐
Uh oh!
Hey I noticed Ron, Ray and Steve too in the prompt. So far I have just found the mention in your story. Good job!
Thanks. Glad you noticed. ๐
Oh Woops a daisy! ๐ Amazing how every one is coping with this pic so brilliantly.
Yes it’s a whole lot of fun.
LOL, cute story, RIP Jojo. ๐ฆ
Thanks glad you liked it.
unexpected ending..very nice
Thanks ๐
Poor Jojo,,,but, what would you expect from a person with the name Jojo?
Scott
http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/02/27/friday-fictioneers-312013-xxxx-genre-humorous/
So his name actually sealed his fate. ๐
Like the say, “Some days you’re the bug, some days you’re the windshield.”
I never heard that one but it’s goody. ๐
UH-OH, poor JoJo!
Thanks for the visit and for the link today! What fun!
๐ It is a lot of fun to see what everyone comes up with.
Jojo could have used an anchor.
I didn’t think of that. ๐
Awww … I hope Jojo is fine ๐
He’s squashed. ๐
I guess he did not have a “Building homemade cars from Scratch For Dummies” book to go by. Engine, brakes, sterring and seats are a minimum. Poor Jojo!
๐ Nope
Brilliant ๐
Thanks. ๐
aww, poor guy with the best intentions. in these lines: “He had everything in that car but something was missing. As he started down the hill in his new car he remembered what he forgot.” you might want commas after “that car” and “down the hill.” well done.
Thanks for the suggestions and of course for reading.
Oh noo!! I am actually sad for Jojo
Great compliant that I envoked a feeling of sadness in only 100 words. ๐ Thanks.
Poor Jojo, All that work and starvation to become a speed bump. Some days are better than others I guess. Nice work, Kim.
shalom,
Rochelle
He was a man on a mission. ๐ hugs
Some guys just don;t get the breaks. ๐ฆ (Another one leaves the shallow end of the gene pool)
He was so determined. ๐
Poor Jojo
Yep. ๐
After all that work, and not eating for weeks…so close. Nice twist at the end.
Thanks.
If he didn’t eat for weeks he would’ve been dead long before the eighteen-wheeler flattened him ๐ That really jumped out at me, not eating for weeks. Seems implausible… ๐ Maybe you could change it to “days at a time”, or “three days straight” or something like that. Just a suggestion. You don’t have to take it of course. ๐
Ghandi at 74 went 42 days without eating. That’s 6 weeks. ๐ but it was suppose to say hardly ate. It got lost in the re-writes. That’s for offering your insight. ๐
uh-oh haha what an ending. loved the name “the jojo mobile” ^^
Thanks. Poor, poor Jojo’s ๐
Brakes… or common sense? I liked how you dug the names of the guys off the sign and put them in your story. Was that ‘G Rating’ for Gore?
๐ absolutely. Glad you picked up on the names.
It had to be an eighteen-wheeler? Not a motorcycle–or better still, a Vespa or a motorbike or a simple pedal-powered bicycle? Poor Jojo–definitely Pancake City after that collision. Good story.
Too late to correct his goof. Thanks for reading.
JoJo lost his MoJo…
Randy
๐ Jojo lost his mojo. ๐
interesting….hmmmm
๐
This is great. Love the ending!
Thanks Marie. ๐
awe… How did he forget the brakes?
I know, right! ๐
Quite an end to what was looking like a spectacular feat.
Yes, sad. I don’t know how he could forget the brakes. ๐
One sad demise! Poor fellar…!
Yes the poor thing.
Jojo must have been one smelly dude, Kim…! ๐
Very cute story. Poor Jojo; I hope he escaped unharmed. Though, I doubt it… ๐
Flat as a tack, I guess…..!
Yes check out my response to the last reader. ๐
Haha…. Oh, poor Jojo…
No second chances for poor ole’ Jojo… ๐
Hope you are feeling better, Kim…
I’m still having dizzy spells. I see doc tomorrow. Regular check up. Thanks for asking.
I’ll take a peek over the next few days to see if you’ve updated re doc visit… Hugs to you… xoxoxo
Probably not. I only posted that post at a weaken and frustrated moment.
I understand…
You are one tough cookie, Kim…
All the best…
Thanks ๐
I missed that you said he was a smelly dude. In my first draft everyone knew when he opened the garage door. ๐
Hahaha…. ๐
Poor funeral director….!
Maybe the funeral director took what was left of the body to a car wash and hosed it down. Either way, I’m sure a closed casket service was the best option.
In one of my draft’s I had the funeral director picking metal, plastic and wood from the body. ๐
Well you better have a checklist before entering the highway.. but I guess there won’t be any second attempt ๐
Nope, no second chances. The funeral director was pulling metal, plastic and wood chips from him days.
Hah! Jojo looks like my kind of motor! Peace and lightx
๐ It runs on boat batteries.
Awesome thing!
He just needed brakes. ๐
Still chucking. Next to an engine, brakes are probably the next most important thing. (I think you need “were” after “prices’–“when gas prices rising” or you could put “With gas prices rising, Jojo…” to start.
janet
Thanks I must of lost the were during one of the re-writes. ๐
I know that goes!!
๐
Oh no, well, that was a good twist at the end! Great story, as always, Kim! Sending hugs!
Thanks Lauren. Hugs always welcome.