Today’s story takes us to the early days of Dan and Sara, who, whether it shows yet or not, play significant roles in Angelique’s story. I’m not crazy about this one, mainly because that 100 word limit got to me again. I would have loved to express more tumult and tenderness, but alas… 100 words. You have to be an angel or something for me to go beyond that boundary.
For more on Dan and Sara, see:
Photo copyright-David Stewart
Impossible Salvation (100 words)
“That’s it? You’re leaving?” She ran to catch him. “You have a gift, Daniel!”
“My gift won’t pay the bills, not like I want.”
“Is that all these years have been to you, a paycheck?”
He set his cello case on the damp ground, burrowed his hands deep into his pockets. “I wanted to tell you another way, somewhere less public.”
Sara focused on the statues behind Dan. The second figure, sunken in hardened concrete, unable to breathe, prayed for impossible salvation. And then Dan’s hands were before her, cradling a velvet box.
“I had no intention of leaving alone.”
Friday Fictioneers (n): A world-wide community of writers addicted to writing 100 word stories based on a photo prompt provided by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.
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omg this made me feel so weak ^^ with valentines day and all.. so sweet…
sunken in hardened concrete, unable to breathe, prayed for impossible salvation — loved this line too ^^
Thanks, KZ! I hope none of the Friday Fictioneers feels that sort of despair this Valentines Day!
me too ^^ hey, happy valentines day 🙂
Wow! That was totally unexpected! Well done!
I mean the ending was unexpected. 🙂
See, I really AM a nice person, capable of writing a happy ending. I don’t always make my character suffer! 😉
LOLLLL!
Wow, that’s a great reversal from the despair of the statue buried in stone to a proposal. Perfect too, considering the upcoming holiday (today in this time zone). Hopefully they can have a happy ending together. Will we see these characters again, do you think?
This is a bit of a flashback, but yes, we will see Dan and Sara again.
I think I see the statues dancing now. 🙂
janet
🙂
nice! Perfect ending!
Thanks!
You created nice tension then nice emotion there!
Thank you!
I’m happy for a happy ending!
I love the line: “The second figure, sunken in hardened concrete, unable to breathe, prayed for impossible salvation.” I’m glad she found some kind of salvation after all.
Awww. Really well done, and very topical too.
“My gift won’t pay the bills.” Nice. Believable dialogue, Lisa. Thanks for the happy ending. 😉
I’m sure Angelique is happy about it, too.
Happy Valentine’s Day,
Rochelle
Very nicely done, with the tension in the situation clearly showing. And the sweet bit at the end totally changing her emotions, I would imagine…
Every week I love reading your stories. Today is no exception. 🙂
”… sunken in hardened concrete, unable to breathe …” – excellent metaphor for her sunken feelings?
Pretty much. 🙂
Hope you get better soon.
I like your happy ending! As long as she wants to leave with him that is. Perhaps that’s another instalment. Ann
Love the sweet ending!!! Great job.
That’s a fascinating interpretation – I like the way Sara is looking at the statues just before she realizes that Dan is proposing.
Thank you. She had to look away, focus on something to keep the tears from falling.
Very nice ending. I almost expecting something more sinister from the cello cases.. But this is great.
Thanks.
This did take me by surprise unlike the usual proposal scenes where you know what’s coming next. Very well done!
I also liked the way you molded the prompt in the story. Very professional if I may say so. 🙂
Thank you so much, Parul!
oh that’s not fair putting her through that! well done.
Thanks! She’ll go through a lot more before it’s all said and done. This is nothing.
I thought it was going to be a sad ending, but it wasn’t!
Loved it 🙂
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it!
I love this…fits in with the holiday, has a happy ending. Really well done.
Tom
Thank you.
Way to close the story. I know she will say yes!
Thanks! She does say yes. 🙂
Hmmm… how did I miss this? Glad I didn’t.
Never say you are not crazy about something you write. This was a satisfying 100 words, and part of a longer story…. that’s where the other words are. I liked the way you tied into the picture.